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Review: Live Free or Die Hard

The Die Hard franchise has a special place in my heart, I saw the two first movies almost every time I was sick as a kid, and John McClane is probably my favorite movie hero. When I heard about a fourth movie I had the same feeling as when I heard about Terminator 3; I generally don't like it when sequels are created so many years after its predecessor, mainly because what we expect from movies, and how we look at them, changes, so a sequel released more than 10 years after the original rarely stands a chance when it's compared to the original movie(s). They should also just be able to stop when they're on top, there's no need to risk destroying a great franchise, and in some cases it just seems like they want to use a famous brand to earn some money. Anyway, naturally I had to watch the new Die Hard, and here's what I thought.

The plot is very simple: Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) wants to literally close down the United States by taking down the computer and technological structure of the country. McClane is supposed to pick up a cracker, Matt Farrell (Justin Long), who's on Gabriel's hit list, because, well, he knows too much. Of course the assassination fails and McClane and Farrell team up to put a stop to Gabriel's evil plans.

Firefights and melee combat is a must in Die Hard movies and the fourth installation starts out fine with a cool fight in Farrell's apartment (the scene from the trailer with McClane shooting at a fire extinguisher, thus blowing some bad guys out the window), and ends with a nice little car scene. The next part of the movie centers around a city chase, where McClane and Farrell are being chased through New York by a helicopter, it ends with an incredible scene in a tunnel with traffic coming from both ends and ending with McClane ramming a police car through the tolls, making it fly into the helicopter, as seen in the trailer as well.

As far as I remember there's one more proper fight scene, but it's pretty short. After the city chase McClane and Farrell goes to a power plant, where they know Gabriel's henchmen are trying to shut down the electricity in the eastern part of the US. At the plant McClane confronts Gabriel's girlfriend, she kicks his ass a little, he rams her into some shelves and stuff, she kicks him off the platform they're on and he steals a big car and rams it into her pretty face. "Your girlfriend? She's on the bottom of an elevator shaft with a SUV rammed up her ass." – Now that's McClane talking, unfortunately this is one of the few cool punch lines in the movie. They continue on to a cool and very funny scene with Kevin Smith, one of my favorite directors.

The last action scene is ridiculous. McClane is inside a big truck, being chased by a fighter aircraft, that fires some rockets after him, hitting a highway pillar, making the second floor of the highway collapse behind McClane; it ends with a part of the upper highway falling down right in front of the truck, like a staircase, making it possible for McClane to drive up. For some reason the aircraft starts hovering meters away from McClane, and by sheer chance a rock falls into the aircraft's engine, making it crash, but not before McClane jumps onto it, and then jumps down on the road the last second before it explodes. The scene is just too extreme, not only is it ridiculously unrealistic, it doesn't fit into the Die Hard franchise very well, because, well, he's not even fighting the aircraft, he's just kinda trying to avoid it until it just so happens to crash. I would much rather have had a proper fight scene with Gabriel and his goons, but no, that part of the movie's ending is very anticlimactic and it's over in a few minutes. The movie is packed with CGI, and in some scenes it's fitting, but in most it's too much, especially this last scene and the one with McClane destroying the helicopter with a car. Sure, it's cool, but it's just too unrealistic.

So, we get to the ending, McClane has found Gabriel, who is holding McClane's daughter hostage, McClane is shot in the shoulder, which looks incredibly cool, and then Gabriel grabs him, while pointing his gun into McClane's wound (thus also pointing the gun at himself), McClane finally goes "Yippie-ka yay, motherf-BLAAM!", and fires Gabriel's gun through himself and into Gabriel's chest, killing him. And yes, you read it correctly; he doesn't actually say "motherfucker", the sound of the gun masks it, and I can't describe how much that annoys me! Who gives a shit about not getting a PG-13 rating, this is John McClane, the king of cool punch lines and he's not even allowed to fire off the best one. Common sentence from Die Hard 1: "Fuck… Oh, John, what the fuck are you doing? How the fuck did you get into this shit?" That's how John McClane talks, I didn't hear one 'fuck' from him in this one, and it really affects the coolness of the movie's punch lines. Other than the motherfucker-line, there's one more thing you must include if you're making a Die Hard movie: McClane has too look like crap in the end, he's not a great fighter, but he doesn't give a shit, he kicks ass anyway, and takes a lot of punches while doing it. That's what so cool about him. And, sure, he looks pretty banged up after he jumps out from the car in the beginning of the movie and he gets shot a couple of times in the end, but that's it, where's all the blood? Where are the limp and broken bones? The cuts? Somehow I feel the need to achieve a certain rating is to blame, again.

See that? That's John McClane anno 1988 picking pieces of glass out of his foot…

… this is John McClane almost 20 years later, saving the country without getting all the shit kicked out of him, and be honest, what do we care the most about? McClane saving the day or McClane saving the day looking like he's been fighting a fucking army?

You also can't help thinking about a couple of things during the movie, like why none of the FBI agents thought about going to the power plant in West Virginia, why a parking lot leads directly into a power plant's main control room, how McClane knew where Gabriel was going in the end even though he was busy fighting a fighter aircraft, why Gabriel was using a van with a GPS that the government had access to and if Timothy Olyphant will be less annoying with no hair and a bar code in the neck. I doubt it.

Live Free or Die Hard isn't a Die Hard movie; it's an over-the-top action flick with a lot of CGI, and John McClane just so happens to be in it. Not a bad movie, but definitely not worthy of a place in the Die Hard series.

6/10.

[poll=5]

Death Proof

Earlier this year I wrote a small post about Grindhouse, saying that I expected to rate it 10/10 and that it definitely would be the best movie of 2007. So far, the movie from this year I've rated highest is Hot Fuzz, with 7/10 (I'm still considering changing it to 8/10 though), and when I rate movies I very rarely hand out 10s, even though some movies probably have deserved it, because I feel like it's nice to have one grade exclusive for the movies I personally like most. Therefore I have a hard time handing out tens and at this point I've only given 10/10 to Amélie and Fight Club, a lot of people probably disagree but they are my top favorite movies. I could probably find more movies that I think deserve 10/10, but I find it kinda hard most of the time (12 Monkeys and Pulp Fiction are some of the movies that are pretty close to getting it).

Obviously I've never rated a movie with a 10/10 after only watching it once either, at this point you can probably see where I'm going; I've never in my entire life felt compelled to clap in a cinema, but I did after watching Death Proof. It's simply a masterpiece and I cannot believe how Tarantino can continue to create so incredibly great movies. The dialogue (of course), the gore, the action-stuffed scenes, the humor, it was all top notch. While watching it I was pretty certain I'd give it 9/10, when the movie was halfway done, but after the ending I had no choice but to rate it with the highest grade. It's just fucking awesome, and this was only the first part of Grindhouse! All hail Quentin Tarantino.

Death Proof: 10/10.

[poll=4]

Apocalypto

I really like Mel Gibson's work, he's one of my favorite actors and Braveheart is one of my favorite movies. Naturally I've been looking forward to Apocalypto, and I'm happy to say I wasn't disappointed. It's a great movie with a fascinating story, it has both incredible emotion-filled and action-packed scenes, good actors, and some nice twists. I didn't really like Passion of the Christ, so it was nice to find out that he's still able to make great movies.

Apocalypto: 8/10.

[poll=3]

PotC: At World’s End

Even though I enjoyed the first two movies they don't exactly rank high on my list of the best movies. I feel more or less the same about the third one. It's a lot more confusing, it has A LOT of stories, the break in the middle of the movie (in the cinema) was well needed, so I could get my thoughts together and figure things out. Also, some of the stories have disappointing endings, like the Davy Jones/Calypso, I wanted to see her mess things up, instead she just created a maelstrom that wasn't much of a threat.

Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley will never be my favorite actors, they do a poor job, also because they're not really believable as real pirates. It's an entire different thing with Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush and Ben Nighy though, all incredible actors, especially Nighy, who is one of my favorites. Sparrow is probably Depp's best role ever. Chow Yun Fat is so cool too, he's a ninja pirate for god's sake! Too bad there was no proper sword fights with him.

The CGI, mainly Jones' tentacle-beard is the most realistic looking digital special effects I have ever seen. There are especially two scenes that are awe-inspiring, first is Jones grapping a tear from his eye with a tentacle, second is the rain pouring down on his face. Just amazing. Too bad there was no scenes with the Kraken running amok.

The ending was all right, Will becoming captain of the Flying Dutchman was a cool idea, although he looks more like an Italian model than a pirate. At least it wasn't a typical sugar-sweet ending. Sparrow going after a new trasure was neat as well, would've liked to see Jones and Calypso making up, or at least confronting each other too.

Decent flick, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: 6/10.

[poll=2]

Lost Season 3

Spoilers ahead. The best tv-show in the world at the moment, Lost, had its third season finale yesterday with two episodes. I watched them this morning but I still can't stop thinking about them. They exceeded all my expectations, and they are some of the best episodes of the entire show. Jack beating Ben was quite satisfying, Charlie dying was sad, but seemed inevitable, the video chat with Penelope, and the surprise that Naomi probably hasn't got anything to do with her, was a nice little twist, but the most amazing part of the final was, of course, the flash-forward of Jack being a miserable bum, an unknown period of time after they've left the island. That part makes me look forward to the next season alot more than I thought I would. It wouldn't surprise me if we'll see flash-forwards for most characters in the next season, and then see what happens after the flashes in the fifth season. Oh yeah, I'd also really like to see Locke team up with Jacob. Lost Season 3: 10/10.